Rainy Night
by Orokid
Summary: In the middle of the night, Harry runs off into the rain. What will happen to him when he's found by the one he's afraid of the most?


_orokid: I had been searching the net for something to do one night (actually, I had been searching for pictures to use for my RP on Gaia) and I had come across Quills and Spills dot com. Looking around the site (after going through all the pictures because I LOVE how Gwendy draws the Harry Potter cast), I came across her Inspirations page, and the piture she had given had compelled me to write this fanfic._

_Anyway, if its bad, blame it on her, lol._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the cast, book, etc of Harry Potter. All of that belongs to JK Rowling. I barely even own the main scene in this fic!_

**RAINY NIGHT**

I don't really remember why I like the rain anymore. Maybe because it reminds me of what I'm fighting for, or why I'm trying to fight at all. What if its because it gives me something to relate to- the constant downpour of things I can't control, the darkness that looms ahead, the pounding of each and every memory I own falling upon the shell I call skin?

Maybe.

Or maybe it's because its how I'm feeling right now, at this exact moment. The relentless hatred towards myself as my tears spill from the sky instead of my eyes, all because of my inability to cry.

All I know is that I just don't want to play 'hero' anymore.

I can't say that running off in the middle of the night during a potentially lethal rainstorm was one of my more brilliant ideas. Hell, I can't even say it was a bloody GOOD idea. But I'm in the middle of the forest, probably a mile or more away from the campsite we had set up. The only good thing to come out of it would be that Dudley's old clothing would be closer to becoming my size.

But… the only thing I can say about my predicament is that I needed to run. Run from my troubles for a little while, from the hurt of knowing that those who we've lost so far has been all my doing, and… just to run from her…

I'm such a coward.

I remember when the thought of merely walking my troubles off had come to my mind. For an hour, I had pretended to be very engrossed in a book about some modern defense spells that could probably help us in the coming battle, but I was only doing it because I wanted to watch her focus hard upon materials that I too should look at. I was fascinated by her, although I did put up a good show of hiding my enjoyment by switching back and forth between her and the words on the page- of course, only when she looked up at me did I even do so. By that time, I felt a little too cocky, and I admit that it was the wrong feeling to have at that time.

And my ends had ended upon her form too long, which had eventually caused my little game of 'look away' to halt almost immediately. I was cursing myself, wondering why I had allowed those wonderful chocolate eyes to lock with my own.

Slowly, I could feel my end come upon me, her fingertips stopping momentarily to put down the quill she had been using to highlight with. My first thought was to run, of course, and to get out of there while I still could. Sadly, my legs didn't seem to listen as my heart pounded over the sounds of orders my mind was sending them. Carefully, she got up from her comfy seat, and I only gulped down my fear as she moved towards me.

The goddess kneeled down before my seated form and I did my best not to look as though I feared her very existence right then, trying to look as though I was innocent of the charges I knew she would charge me with. But… she's my best mate! There's no reason to want to run for it, to think that she'd know everything my poor heart has hidden from everyone is she just took one glance into my eyes.

At that instance, I felt my eyes shut, just as if a child's would if they were afraid to see something. And I was afraid. I feared my downfall, my future state of a heartbroken man in a war where love was my only weapon. But… without her… what chance do I have?

"What's wrong, Harry?" Her tone is so soft and caring, and I can just see why our friend is smitten with her. She's just too good to be true, and I'm just a man with some ruddy scar on my head. Who wants fame, fortune, adventure if it just meant that there'd be no way for true happiness? No way for me to have her, the goddess of all women. "I know you want to tell me something. You've been looking away every time, pretending as it I wouldn't notice it."

Damn! I'm not so good at that game after all…

"So what's wrong?"

Could you love me, like I love you?

Yeah right. THAT would go well… Definitely bloody terrific is you ask me.

I seem to have forgotten that she had wanted me to say something to her, to explain what I wanted to tell her so bad. Getting up from her knees, she once more turned to return to her chair, allowing me some time to think up a better excuse than 'I don't know', but she paused as she reached the table corner that was mere inches from the spot she had been reading at.

At it was there that I knew that I was pretty much meeting my fate, my death.

"Harry…" She began, and I found myself snapping to attention at her soft voice calling for me. I didn't need to tell her that I had heard her say it, for she knew that I always heard her- whether loud or soft. "How do you… feel… about me?"

In seconds, I had climbed out of our tent and had run into the rain.

And I'm such a bloody coward…

My hands can't help but allow my face to fall into them, and I couldn't help but let my frustration out on myself as I mashed my palms into my forehead. She knew I loved her, and I just wasn't ready yet to hear her tell me that it could never happen, and that she loved Ron or- or Malfoy, or something.

My fists hit my sides as I let a scream of pure self-hatred rip from my body and up to the skies.

"Harry?" I didn't want to hear her voice. She had come looking for me, if only to break my heart in the end. My legs were exhausted, and I knew I would collapse if I would try to run from my fear of being let down yet again. "Is that you, Harry?"

To tell the truth, she hadn't ever looked so beautiful right then. She was soaked to the bone just as I was, but her eyes seemed relieved yet saddened that I had been found. She had located me, and I still didn't want to be rejected by this woman I call friend, this woman that I love so dearly it hurts to see her look that way.

Sadly, my pride had gotten in the way before I could apologize for keeping it from her, for loving her like that at all. "Say it."

"Pardon?" I can see her confusion in those chocolate orbs that I can only wish to drown in for the rest of my life. I can feel only the self-regret moving in now, threatening to murder me then and there for letting my short fuse get involved.

"Say it!" I tell her bitterly, snapping, and I feel my soul drowning rather in my regret instead of those wonderful, beautiful pools I'd rather be in. "Tell me that you hate me! That you think I'm an idiot! That I'm a bloody prick for falling for my bloody best mate!"

"You… You what?"

I want to murder myself now. She didn't know that I..? Uh oh… "I… Oh Holy fuck…" Once more, I begin to pound my forehead with my palms. I had told her, more or less, that I was in love with her, and she hadn't actually known back when I had run as if my life depended upon it. I needed a cliff to jump from, or even that ruddy bastard Voldemort to show up and make my life a living Hell- because all the pain that those two things would bestow would be way better than my heart dying at her words of 'I can't love you'.

I could feel her fingertips trying to pry my hands from my face now, and my will crumbles to her touch alone. Why is she always like this? Why can't I fight back like I've done with everyone else?

"Harry… I…" I look away from her, ashamed at myself for admitting that to her, as well as depressed because I knew just what was coming next. "Harry… Please look at me." I still weakly fought on, never once letting my head swivel her way, but her hand had taken an unexpected hold upon my chin.

And, once more, our eyes meet.

She was too beautiful to pull my eyes from hers again, and I just know that I have been cursed with such a misfortune. I was in love with someone that certainly couldn't ever love me in a million years or more. Maybe, just maybe, I could look away from her again if she'd let go.

I could feel her hand loosen the iron grip that had been on my chin, and it was far more impossible to look away than I had thought in the first place. She was my addiction and there was no cure from this heavenly nightmare.

"Are you really in love with me?" I broke eye-contact, knowing that, whether I answered her or not she'd know of those feelings that I have tried to hide for so long. While my eyes drifted to my feet, her hand that had been locked on my jaw moved to my shoulder, and her body moved in closer to mine.

I found myself shyly biting my lower lip, debating if I really should answer it, and I slowly raised my emerald orbs to meet her chocolate ones, letting my defenses fall as I once more got lost in that wondrous forest of brown. She doesn't know of the power she holds over me, and it's merely a wonder how. Doesn't she remember that she's the only one that can calm me when I wish nothing more that leaving this forsaken place, than handing the prophecy right over to Neville? Can't she realize that I am nothing without her in my arms, or at least near me? I'm a shadow of my former self without her near me.

"Harry, please answer me…"

Her other hand gently touched my cheek, and I tried to savor her touch, knowing that this would be the last time I'd feel it.

"Yes…" Personally, I'm surprised that I had admitted to it at all, to tell the truth. I want to see her reaction, but… had she heard me over the rain? I know I had whispered my affirmative answer, giving her a small chance to hear my word most likely. But… she's not moving. So, I suppose she didn't hear.

To improve her understanding, my left hand moved to her right, which was currently lying on my cheek, pressing those silk-like fingertips a little harder against my skin.

And… I nod.

She does the last thing I expect her to do.

My head lifted up only to have me watch a broad smile come to her lips, and I only smiled bashfully in return. The next five seconds tend to be a giant blur to me, though. All I remember is that I felt her arms encircle my waist and her lips crashing against mine. I had been shocked, but… that didn't mean that I couldn't respond to her touches, her kisses. I had fumbled back into the game, my arms supporting her enough to keep her feet off the ground, our lips meeting each other's hungrily.

And, just now, I remembered why I like the rain so much.

I could be found gleaming with pride and love when she had pulled from me, and when I had gently placed her back down on the ground. I felt as if I could put a sun in the sky right now, just because of her.

"We… we need to get back…" She's not necessarily saying that we really needed get back, but rather looking into my eyes, who I'd bet to just about anyone are shimmering right now, debating whether we should get going or not. "You know, some… some dry clothes and all."

I laughed lightly at her suggestion, briefly wondering just how I could be so depressed for one moment and then jumping for joy the next. Still, I wouldn't fight it, and I didn't care to, to tell the truth. "Well… I think I… want to stay her. Just a little longer." I only smiled sheepishly at her, feeling ashamed that I had asked this small little favor, but why shouldn't I? She gave me the best thing in the world, and I was only asking for more from her.

She had surprised me when she had nodded at my request, and I only pulled her in my arms right then, holding her tightly against my solid form. Why did she have to be so good to me?

I don't know, but I remember exactly why I like the rain as much as I do-- it gives hope for a new day, and the droplets shower down upon me, not to bring pain but to wash it all away.

And, as strange and probably the least brilliant thing I've ever said in my lifetime… she's my rain, and she will always be that way. I don't believe that I want it any other way.


End file.
